re-training

Training for the Chicago Marathon starts in about 2 weeks!!  I’m very excited (and a little nervous, now that I’ve actually set a time goal!).  Reading all of your blogs about the distances others have been running has made me very anxious to get back to it.  I’ve been running a few times a week still, and I’ve been doing speed training once a week for the past month.  I just got done doing 5×1200 at the local track, and when I was done with that I did straight-away sprints for a couple of laps.  I ran faster than I ever have during those sprints tonight; once I looked at my Garmin and it said I was doing a 4 min/mile pace!  What blows my mind is that there are people who can run marathons at just over that pace, and I could barely do 100m without dying. 

I’m learning that it’s okay for me to be uncomfortable when I run, and that I can push myself farther than I thought I could.  I’m also learning that running in the heat is MUCH tougher than running in the cold (for me at least)!  The other day I set out on a run and thought I was going to pass out after 3 miles.  So I found some hills and did a walk/hill run combo and got in some killer intervals.  It was a great workout, but lesson learned; if i want to do a long run during the summer I need to get my butt out of bed before 11 am!

This past week has been very successful for me food-wise.  Sometimes I think Vani and I share a mind, because we think about some very similar things.  Josh and I were just talking last night about how much more relaxed I’ve been around food this past week.  I’ve been eating about 1800 cals each day (my BMR + activity level) and focused on burning 500 cals a day with exercise.  I’ve also allowed myself to “bank” cals (if I only eat 1500 one day, then I can eat 2100 the next or whatever) which has been a lifesaver.  I’m slowly learning that things have a balance.  I’m not always going to eat the same amount of calories each day, and some days I won’t want to exercise (and on those days, my body won’t need as much food). 

I told him how I’ve really enjoyed being able to go out for ice cream with our friends on Friday night, and have brats at a barbeque with my parents on Saturday without totally freaking out.  I’ve just fit in more exercise and/or eased up on the cals other days when needed.  We talked about how I really need to let the past stay in the past, and take what lessons I can from my experiences.  For so long, I looked back at the time I spent on the South Beach Diet in amazement of myself, that I could go for so long without bingeing, and be so “in control”.  I’ve been saying I want nothing more than to go back to that time period, to eat how I ate and to look how I looked.  But the truth is, if I really examine the experience, I wasn’t completely happy.  I mean, I had NO ice cream for that entire period (and we all know how much I love ice cream!).  I wouldn’t go out to eat with friends, I would get anxious about summer barbeques and vacations, and I would avoid work lunches because I didn’t know what was on the menu.  Yes I was thinner and more “in control” but was I happier?  And could I really have lived the rest of my life like that?  

On the flip side, today we had an end of the year banquet at school and the only thing they had was white pasta, salad, white rolls, and dessert.  Instead of bringing a lunch and eating alone, I ate with my colleagues and got about 1/2 c. serving of pasta and a huge salad (no roll or dessert) and I was FINE.  I tend to forget about these small steps, and undermine any kind of progress like this.  Last week in getting my eating under control, I lost the 4 lbs I had gained by bingeing.  Josh was so excited for me, but I tried to rationalize it by saying that I had ONLY lost the 4 that I recently gained.  But Josh tried to straighten me out, saying that I had LOST WEIGHT.  I was moving in the right direction once again.  And I HAVE to start giving myself props for that.

I hope everyone had a fabulous Memorial Day weekend!  I hope you know that even though I don’t seem to have much to say lately, I am continually inspired by each and every one of you!!